The Hitching Post

Involve Friends in Your Wedding Ceremony—Legally!

Let’s Talk About What That Really Means (and How to Do It Right)

There’s something beautiful about the thought of a close friend or beloved family member standing with you on your wedding day, speaking the words that unite you. It’s personal. It’s heartfelt. It’s meaningful.

But before you hand over the mic and the marriage license, there are a few important things to consider—especially here in Ontario (and many other provinces, too).

Let’s break it down, heart-to-heart.

First Things First: Is It Legal?

Here in Ontario, anyone performing a legal wedding must be registered with the province. That means your best friend from high school – no matter how poetic or hilarious they are – can’t just decide to officiate your ceremony without going through an official process. (Yes, even if they got “ordained online”—unfortunately, that doesn’t count in Ontario.)

Our little church trains and licenses officiants to perform weddings across the province as Lay Pastoral Chaplains, and I’d be happy to chat with you if that’s something you’re curious about.

Now here’s the important part: If someone who isn’t legally authorized leads your ceremony, it might feel emotionally meaningful, but you won’t be legally married. And even more seriously, if a non-licensed person performs a ceremony without consulting a registered officiant, it could lead to legal consequences. In fact, it’s against the Criminal Code of Canada to impersonate a licensed wedding officiant.

But We Still Want Them Involved!

Good news: You can absolutely include your friend in a meaningful way without breaking any rules. Here are a few popular and creative options:

1. The Shared Ceremony

Your licensed officiant handles the legal parts (like the declaration, the vows, and signing the register), while your friend leads the storytelling, readings, the ring exchange, or even a personalized blessing. It’s a beautiful collaboration.

2. The Reader or MC Role

Your friend could share a reading, poem, or introduce different parts of the ceremony. It adds a personal touch and gives them a role that’s all about love and support.

3. The “Behind-the-Scenes” Help

Have your friend help you write your vows, create a meaningful ceremony element (such as wording for a sand ceremony or exchange of roses), or even rehearse with you. Not everyone needs to be on the mic to play a huge role in your big day.

Still Want a Friend to Officiate? Here’s What to Know.

If you’re truly set on having your friend lead your ceremony from start to finish, here’s how to do it right:

• Work with a licensed officiant behind the scenes. You can have a short, legal ceremony with the licensed officiant ahead of time to ensure that the legal elements are satified and the paperwork is completed.  Your friend will be able to perform the commemorative ceremony with no worries.
• Make sure they feel confident. Officiating is more than reading from a script. It’s about managing nerves, setting the tone, and creating a flow that feels both intimate and inclusive. Support them, rehearse, and have a plan B just in case.

What Matters Most? Your Moment.

Whether you’re married by your bestie, your favorite aunt, or a seasoned officiant like me, your ceremony should reflect you—your love, your story, your values.

So go ahead and make it personal. Make it sacred. Make it joyful.
Just make sure it’s legal, too.

Need help finding that balance between meaningful and official? Let’s chat. I’m always happy to work alongside your friend to help create a ceremony that’s full of heart and fully recognized.

With love,

Rev Deb

Wedding Officiant, Joy-Spreader, and Keeper of the Wee Wedding Cottage

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